Democrats Take It to the BaseThe pressure seemed to be mounting from all sides. Talk of sexual scandal, perjury, and abuse of power had filled the air for months. He knew he had made mistakes but he always believed that he could weather any storm through cunning and political savvy. He thought he was invincible. But his missteps had begun to alienate many of his supporters. Finally calls for his resignation began to echo through the hallowed halls of Washington. Politically battered; assaulted from all sides; stripped of influence he realized finally for the good of the country that it was the only honorable thing to do. And so on November 6th Newt Gingrich decided to resign. Wait! WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? NEWT GINGRICH resigned?! Excuse me for a second…… Let me get this straight………Bill Clinton gets blown by a 19 year old…… lies under oath………lies to the people…. lies again to a grand jury…..And Newt Gingrich resigns? Who’s writing this story, O. Henry? As Bill Hicks used to say: Did I miss a meeting?
"Maybe the Republicans, unable to bring him down by any other means, have decided to try to get Clinton to laugh himself to death." Ah, the sheer comedic irony of it all. Maybe the Republicans, unable to bring him down by any other means, have decided to try to get Clinton to laugh himself to death. How else to explain one of the most comical displays of political ineptitude in recent memory? It was a difficult, seemingly impossible task. But through sheer guts, dedication, perseverance and dogged determination they actually managed to pull it off. In the span of only a few months the Republican Party has seemingly managed to alienate the average middle class voter, antagonize their opponents out of their collective political slumber and made Bill Clinton even more sympathetic than ever. How did these rocket scientists manage to pull off this political hat trick?
Remember the pundits talking about how "energized" the "base" of the Republican party was? That they were "angry" and were going to "punish" Clinton at the polls? That they were going to vote in droves and ensure that the Republicans were going to win at least 20 seats in the house bla bla bla…? Hey Dick Morris…..maybe it’s time you went back to doing the "Popeye Dance" for hookers in hotel rooms! And as for Newt….he said that he didn’t realize that people were fed up with the Lewinsky scandal. What is wrong with this guy? Where has he been for the last 5 months? I thought it was a politician’s job to be in touch with the electorate. Where is this so-called base? Who are these people? I’ll tell you: They don’t exist! Sure, there are a certain amount of fanatical, glazed over, Children of The Damned, right wing, ideological cyborgs out there who do whatever Rush tells them. But overall this idea of the existence of a vast, influential army of bible wielding zealots who can make or destroy elections through their mighty numbers is basically a myth. If they can be so easily vanquished maybe the Republicans should finally realize in order to remain a truly national party maybe they should attempt to appeal to other groups besides uptight white guys who still use Brill Cream. I think they’ve got that vote sewn up.
"Hey Dick Morris… maybe it’s time you went back to doing the "Popeye Dance" for hookers in hotel rooms!" I just want to know the answer to ONE question: Who exactly was it on the Judiciary committee that watched the tape of Clinton’s Grand Jury testimony and was so completely lacking in any human sensibility that he decided it would be a GREAT idea to release it to the public? Who viewed that tape and thought that its release would actually hurt Clinton? Remember, the Democrats actually fought to keep it from being shown, so in a way they were just as bereft of political acumen. But whoever that Republican brain trust was should be given a medal for the most remarkable exhibition of political retardation of all time. That will have to go down in history as one of the most astonishingly ignorant, insensitively moronic, egregiously idiotic displays of political tone deafness that I have ever witnessed. How devoid of human feeling were the replicants that actually sat there viewing that debacle and actually surmised it would help their case? What kind of people are these? Does Trent Lott actually speak to anyone out there?
What does it say about the current state of the Republican party when George Bush junior has to differentiate himself from his brethren by calling his ideology "conservatism with compassion"? Imagine that your political peer group has so firmly established an identity as the party of insensitivity that demonstrating compassion becomes a distinguishing characteristic? Shouldn’t compassion be a prized trait in EVERYONE?
By the way I know this has little to do with anything but would anybody else out there like to punch that Bob Barr (R. Georgia) guy in the face?
Your comments always welcome!
