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14 of 15
It seems that towards the end Bill was really not afraid to die or at least grew to accept the fact. Do you feel that this was his true feeling or do you think partly he was in denial about his mortality and this was a way of dealing with something this painful?
Good question again, but I probably couldn't answer any of that any better than you could or any better than anybody that knew anybody that died. That kind of goes back into the meaning of life. I mean a lot of issues I don't think Bill could have ever known. I don't think Bill knew how much pain he was going to leave behind.
I don't think Bill was really afraid of dying, it was more just feeling sad about having to part ways with all the people in his life. And part ways, and this sounds ridiculous, but having to part ways with food was huge. I expected several times that one of the things that he was going to miss the most were guacamole and jalapenos. One of the things he told me was, one of the things he would miss the most was just us going to a Mexican restaurant and having iced tea and chips and dips. Some of the really fundamental things were, he kind of like knew, weren't going to happen in this next dimension or something like that and maybe he was wrong about that, God I hope.
So, yes or no. That's a pretty tricky one that can be answered only by the people that know they are going to die. It's one thing to know that you're fine and to say, "I'm not afraid of dying," but it's another thing to like have a doctor look you in the face, a series of doctors, and say, "You've got three months tops,"
Even best case scenario, even if you believe in reincarnation,
Heaven, God, everything, it's still, you're shipping off, it's a big, scary transition and it had to have been scary, but I do know that he was just in the process of tuning himself up for it and therefore, I knew that if anybody could do it, it was him.
"It's Just a Ride" - Bill Hicks
12/16/1961 - 2/26/1994
