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Fade to Black
On-line Comedy Magazine
The Wacko Interviews
Interview #1

In our everlasting quest in exposing the truth, albeit sometimes the 'Horrible Truth', of all human endeavors, we at Fade To Black came across a young invepicture1.gif (17675 bytes)ntor named Alex Chiu, (http://www.alexchiu.com). Alex claims he has discovered a device which make humans live forever. And what might that device be you ask? Well it's a pair of magnets which when warn create a magnetic energy which makes everlasting life possible. 

When not selling "Eternal Life Rings" for $16.50 (shipping included), or "Eternal Foot Braces" Alex can be found working on a teleportation device and has an amazing fascination with the Bible Code. 

Always seeking the truth, we decided to picture2.gif (13860 bytes)indulge in a game of 21 questions with Alex Chiu the man who believes he has found the Fountain of Youth.

Fade To Black 1) How did you come up the idea for the "Eternal Life Device"?
Alex Chiu When I was 19, I fooled around with magnets. I experimented with magnets for 1 1/2 year placing magnets everywhere I can for effect, but nothing showed up. One day I placed North Pole on both small fingers,  and I became sick.  Became so sick, I had hard time climbing stairs. My heart pounded out of my body. Then I had them on like that for one whole week and took them off because I can't stand them any longer. But I thought "Wait a minute! What if one north and one south on the other pinky?" Then I switched one to south and let one remain north. I felt rejuvenation throughout the entire body. Then further perfecting the device by placing magnets at bottom of pinkies. Rejuvenation became more effective and more noticeable. This is where my device came from.
Fade To Black 2) How exactly does the "Eternal Life Device" work, and what exactly does it do?
Alex Chiu I first came up with only the pinky rings. Later found the toe braces would function like the pinky rings. (Magnets located on toes similar to the fixture of the magnetic rings on the pinkies.) My theory is the fingers and toes are transistors of the human body. If a little bit of energy is induced into the toes/fingers, a bigger energy gate would open up allowing more chi flow throughout the body enhancing blood circulation and metabolism.

The device based on my experience stops aging completely and also alter aging. So if a 50 year-old puts on the eternal life device, maybe 10 years later he would look physically 20 years younger. The alter aging process depends on the strength of the device.

Fade To Black 3) With the popularity of Viagra and other aphrodisiacs on the market it seems that sexual health is very important in our society. Do you plan on offering any devices for this purpose? I was thinking something along the lines a metal device you can clamp on to your scrotum and wear around the house when doing house chores, or playing with the kids.
Alex Chiu Sexual products are sellers in this country, but I have no interest in this field yet.
Fade To Black 4) How long can a person wearing your "Eternal Life Device" expect to live?
Alex Chiu As long as the user doesn't get killed in accidents or be murdered by someone or die from a severe disease, the person would continue living.
Fade To Black 5) I understand that you are saving money in order to build a teleportation device?
Alex Chiu I want teleportation. I believe immortality might jack up human population. teleportation, a faster mean of travel, is needed.
Fade To Black 6) Does the "Eternal Life Device" work if you wear it under water?
Alex Chiu Works under water. But why should a user wear them under water? One only wear them during sleep.
Fade To Black 7) I was thinking about the possibly using them on sea animals to increase the life of endangered species, like dolphins. Could you hook up one of you magnets to a fish?
Alex Chiu Oh. I don't have plan for that yet.
Fade To Black 8) What do you think about the accuracy of the Bible Code?
Alex Chiu Bible code is 100% accurate. Moses, the writer of the codes, was a super powerful astrologer. He won't make mistake. The torah is a perfect cosmolic plan.
Fade To Black 9) Is it true that the Bible Code predicted the rise and fall of the "Backstreet Boys"?
Alex Chiu Rise and fall of the Backstreet Boys should be in it. Everything celebrity's name and profile are in it.
Fade To Black 10) Does the Bible Code also include imaginary characters also like Spiderman or Flash Gordon, or does it only include real human beings?
Alex Chiu [No answer]
Fade To Black 11) Would there be any benefits of strapping the "Eternal Life Device" on a household pet?
Alex Chiu I didn't come up with a device for cats and dogs yet. Maybe after I have taken care of humans, I will help the animals.
Fade To Black 12) Tell me what your goals are for the teleportation device?
Alex Chiu Earn some money and have it built! Open up a lab and hire smart people to work for it. I don't want to earn tons of money so I can buy a big house with luxury cars in garage. What boring life is that? I don't want to be like Bill gates. He does nothing but mountain his bank account so his kids can be spoiled to be human clothed animals. That ain't no life. I want to be someone different. I want to be creative! Get this teleportation going and be teleported out of this world! Getting richer and richer is what everyone wants. But everyone is too normal and perhaps too boring. I'm different! I'm special! I have a real life!
Fade To Black 13) You write: "If my Eternal Life Device does not give immortality, then the entire bible is a joke. I don't think Moses wrote it as a joke". If Moses was alive today and was into mail order do you think he would purchase and wear your magnetic rings?
Alex Chiu Of course Moses will purchase my stuff. Remember, he is a prophet! He won't be stupid enough to pass this one. He is no ordinary man. When time comes, he knows. But this guy will avoid a man like Jesus who claims spiritual immortality (fake immortality) and go for my physical immortality. (the real stuff) Remember, Talmud, the Babylonian stone tablet, clearly stated that immortality shall be before year 2000. Do you think the prophets who wrote the tablets were joking? Hope not!
Fade To Black 14) Do you think people in Somalia and other Third World Countries would reap the benefit from your magnetic rings?
Alex Chiu Anyone who believes in the warning of the bible (prophecies concerning the end time which is now) shall be benefited from my invention. Because they won't be stupid enough to pass this!
Fade To Black 15) If you plan on selling magnetic rings to Third World Countries you would really need to explain what they do, else they might try to eat the rings. If you had one ring in your stomach and one on your finger and the polarity was right would your device still work?
Alex Chiu [No Answer]
Fade To Black 16) With the popularity of your device, I am sure there will be many imitators (if you have not already encountered them.) entering the marketplace. What is stopping a con man from coming along and just taking a couple of magnets and a piece of metal, and packaging it as the "Eternal Life Device"?
Alex Chiu Imitators are fine. As long as the polarity is not screwed up, or else users can get sick.
Fade To Black 17) Since you come from a scientific and technical background I want to ask your opinions on a few topics. Do you think it is possible for a man to invent a machine which has no energy loss?
Alex Chiu I don't think it's possible to invent a machine without energy loss.
Fade To Black 18) Do you think man would ever be able to travel at the speed of light?
Alex Chiu I use Iching to predict the future. Says on the Iching sign Teleportation will become a reality in the year 2007.
Fade To Black 19) Do you like Kiss more with or without makeup?
Alex Chiu Without makeup. But of course who am I to decide. Perhaps that's their brand name. They depended on makeup to earn money.
Fade To Black 20) I want to do word association, I'll give you a few words tell me the first thing that pops into your mind:

Energy?

Alex Chiu Gross.
Fade To Black Mass?
Alex Chiu Atom.
Fade To Black Einstein?
Alex Chiu Berkley.
Fade To Black Sammy Hagar?
Alex Chiu Who??
Fade To Black The Internet?
Alex Chiu Net
Fade To Black Gary Coleman?
Alex Chiu Who??
Fade To Black Electricity?
Alex Chiu Atom
Fade To Black The bass player for Motley Crue?
Alex Chiu Nonsense.
Fade To Black 21) Do you plan on taking out an infomercial like that Tae Boe guy. Have you tried Tae Boe? it's like martial arts only set to dance music.
Alex Chiu No thoughts on that either. You are throwing some hard questions, huhh?
Fade To Black Thank you for your time.

Alex Chiu Bookmark File
Decided against sharing.

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